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By Mark Lorenz
Rumor have been swirling about Tiger Woods paying out a lot of money because – you can insert your own golf joke here – he stuck his manbits in a lot of wandering tail.
But the sums rumored have been astronomical. 750 million dollars for Elin Nordegren. 750 million dollars. That’s more than the GDP of several states put together, and I’m sure several countries. For marrying a man who golfs and popping out kids. Never mind that it’s a ridiculous sum of money, somehow, a golfer managed to make about a billion dollars. There’s a story somewhere about corporate America branding things ridiculously. Do you think anyone buys products because Tiger Woods does? Are you going to run out and buy a Buick just because your favorite celebrity athlete hawks them?
If so, you’re an idiot. Inside sources say that Tiger’s divorce payout will be far less than 750 million dollars, as the golfer isn’t even worth that much. He’s still worth more than you’ll ever be worth, just not 750 million.
But think of how much 750 million could get you, if Elin were to even get that much money. You could buy all the brothels in Europe for that amount, and synthesize the sort of super-disease that Tiger Woods is probably walking around with. Grody
Rumor have been swirling about Tiger Woods paying out a lot of money because – you can insert your own golf joke here – he stuck his manbits in a lot of wandering tail.
But the sums rumored have been astronomical. 750 million dollars for Elin Nordegren. 750 million dollars. That’s more than the GDP of several states put together, and I’m sure several countries. For marrying a man who golfs and popping out kids. Never mind that it’s a ridiculous sum of money, somehow, a golfer managed to make about a billion dollars. There’s a story somewhere about corporate America branding things ridiculously. Do you think anyone buys products because Tiger Woods does? Are you going to run out and buy a Buick just because your favorite celebrity athlete hawks them?
If so, you’re an idiot. Inside sources say that Tiger’s divorce payout will be far less than 750 million dollars, as the golfer isn’t even worth that much. He’s still worth more than you’ll ever be worth, just not 750 million.
But think of how much 750 million could get you, if Elin were to even get that much money. You could buy all the brothels in Europe for that amount, and synthesize the sort of super-disease that Tiger Woods is probably walking around with. Grody
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