Obama attempts to distract from Super Tuesday with a puppet show

By Rebecca DiFede
Is Obama smarter than a fifth grader? If you saw his less-than-impressive nationally televised press conference (his first in five months), you might not think so.
At 1:15pm yesterday, with a nation on baited breath, our illustrious president took the stage in the Brady Press Briefing Room. And for the next forty-five minutes he proceeded to say…

Nothing.
Hardly anything of substance was uttered for the entirely of the affair. It was actually kind of boring. It was as if Obama was a lost tourist and native people were asking him how to get to the nearest McDonalds.

It was as if, in an attempt to avoid scorn from Republicans for possibly making a mistake, our Commander in Chief stumbled his way through a nearly indistinguishable series of “buts” “ums” and “uhs” in response to the barely sophomoric questions posed to him by the press.

His questions wouldn’t give a kindergartener a second thought, and yet he reacted like Forrest Gump in a police interrogation. He seemed confused by the mere fact that spoken words were being uttered in his direction, and his inability to speak a cohesive sentence was Muppet-level ridiculous.
Guess he’s not so smooth without his trusty teleprompter. His hands were practically shaking with withdrawal.

This hilariously unscripted conference was supposed to show that the President was taking an initiative to be held accountable for his actions and promises, and hopefully be asked some questions that would require, oh, I don’t know, a complete rational thought.

Hard questions that Americans want answers to such as “what is your response to calls for the resignations of your recess appointees?” or “what are your plans regarding new forms of energy in light of the bankruptcies of taxpayer-subsidized green energy companies like Solyndra and Ener1?” were dropped, in favor of vague softball questions lightly tossed in his direction.

The rage and despair Americans are experiencing in this economy was glazed over like a bump in the road to re-securing the White House. Instead, he was asked several similarly worded questions about Israel and their possible war with Iran, a quick Super Tuesday plug where all Obama did was sarcastically wish Romney luck, and a few other assorted time wasters.

And when he was finally asked a question centered on gas prices, he danced around the issue like an out-of-time vaudeville performer.
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