I normally don’t pay much attention to lists, but I decided that
this one was worth while creating.? So after a round table discussion
and much thought, I came up with my list of mistakes that I’ve noticed white women make when dating black men.?
10.? Being too demanding.? I’ve
noticed that white women will be demanding and that doesn’t go over
well with a black man.? Resentment can be created quickly with this
approach.
9.? Not acknowledging culture differences.?
Yes, there are differences in our culture.? It starts with everything
from social themes, family background, diets, and even style of dress.
8.? Public Confrontations.? Black
men hate being confronted by their mate in public.? If there’s a
disagreement, we would rather have you talk about this in private.?
Public embarrassment is never a good option.
7.? Being to accessible.? There
are too many times when white women are available for him when ever he
calls, because that is the only time he has available.? Black men can
and/or will abuse that option more than others.
6.? Give too much financially.?
This one is a popular but not forgotten.??Often, white women?think they
have to get his attention by buying him gifts, taking him on vacations,
and even cloths.? This is a major mistake in my opinion.
?5.? Try to be a player.? I’ve
watched white women try to date several black men at the same time.?
They don’t think any of them will find out.? The truth is, we all don’t
know each other, but we do share our dating notes.? The interracial
dating scene is a small world.?
4.?? Attempting to be hip.? Just
because you’re dating interracial, doesn’t mean you have to talk
different, act different, and dress different.? He was attracted to you
for who you are, and not what you could be.
3.? The Myth isn’t true.? Yes, I
called it ‘the myth’.? Not all black men are well endowed sexually.?
Physically, we are proportionate just like everyone else.? I don’t
think I need to explain more on this one.?
2.? Not being assertive.? Black men are confident.? We are attracted to women with direction, confidence and energetic.? This has been referred to as a ‘Go Getta’.
?1.? The ‘N’ word.? Richard Pryor
made jokes about it, but it’s true.? Just because you’re in a
interracial relationship, doesn’t give you the ability to use the ‘N’
word.? Some black men are thug types and use this vocabulary
regularly.? There are also ?educated, business minded?black men that
don’t use it at all.? There’s never a? reason why a white woman can use
this word.
Post your comments, I’d like to hear your thoughts.
by
2 comments:
Let's examine these...
10.Being too demanding - Yes, just broke up w/my white girl for this reason alone. Which is why I disagree with...
2. Not being assertive - My man. If you want an assertive girl, she's going to end up being demanding. They go hand & hand. Give me a nice, non-assertive white girl and I'm a happy camper. She doesn't need to be docile... just not assertive & demanding.
8.Public Confrontations. - Public embarrassment is never a good option. - Oh goodness yes! though we've "come a long way baby", you still get those looks at times (especially from black women). The LAST thing you want is your white girl making a scene in public. (thank goodness I never had to deal with that).
7. Being too accessible. - No. If you are a respectful black man, you will be happy & feel grateful that she's always accessible.
6. Give too much financially. - Are you serious? As much as I've taken care of women in my life... hell yeah I'll accept her paying for things at times! Not the first few dates & if I'm serious about her I won't let her do it too much but otherwise (how do the ghetto bruthas say?) n*gg* please! lol
5. Try to be a player. - Agreed! 100% agree. Enough said!
4. Attempting to be hip. - Once again... agreed! I want you b/c you're a sweet lil white girl. Not b/c you're a wanna be hoodie.
3. The Myth isn’t true. - For some of us yes, for some no. But hey, it gets me in a lot of doors so I take full advantage of that curiosity. I'm right in the middle so it may not be what they expect but it's not disappointing :-)
*** and may I add... I love white women b/c in the bedroom, you can feel free to explore, do dirty things and not hear that "don't do that, why u doing that, etc. etc." Mind you I'm not saying ALL women... but the majority! ha ha ha! I'll be the 1st to admit, see that contrast in skin color as I'm on top of her turns me on to no end. It's not a problem... it's a preference.
*** I KNOW my problem. Others may have different reasons. When I was in grade school, I STILL remember how the black kids would call me "blackie", tease me b/c I got good grades, b/c I didn't go out to parties, & of course... talked educated (talked like a white guy). The only girls who treated me nice & made it seem like all that didn't matter was.... you guessed it.... WHITE GIRLS!
Also, I'm sorry to say that yes, black girls ARE more demanding, more bossy, etc. I even got into an argument with my sister b/c she gives me a bad attitude many times (and I'm only her brother!!)
As we all know, things that happen when you're a kid have a big effect on you. Funny thing is though, that whole "talking like a white guy" continued as I got older. Black people as a whole seem to be the only race that likes putting down their own when they talk educated, prefer reading a book, going to a museum, etc. as opposed to playing sports, or going to a club.
Even with all this, I still have pride for my race and all the QUALITY black people out there and our ancestors who suffered for us in the past, so that we can enjoy such great freedoms (like dating white women in the open) as we do today.
Wow! Think I've been holding all that back for a long time. Thanks for listening,
Jesse,
NJ
p.s. forgive any typos but this is such a small box to write in, it makes it difficult to proofread.
p.s. re: the "blackie" thing. This is why ALL people need to make sure they get their education. I'm not even "dark black". I would say I'm a Don Cheadle type of black guy. The best thing that happened to me was going to college. There I discovered that there were lots of blacks darker than me and they appeared happy as can be and had plenty of friends. That's when I grew out of my shell and began finally enjoying life. I hated grade school so much that many times I thought of suicide. College made all the difference for me.
Black people, please stop putting down your own people just because they're educated, talk educated, are dark, etc. etc. We have to try and help each other and support each other like the Jews, Italians, Portuguese, etc. This is why we're always lagging behind as a race. Too much in-fighting instead of harmony within our race.
Please
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