Having an Affair With Privacy

This guest post is in response to yesterday’s article: Man Sued For Reading Wife’s E-mail (How Much Privacy Should You Expect In A Marriage? )
by Reginald Williams

I recently received a call from *Chris Leake because he was experiencing a challenging issue with his wife. As we exchanged pleasantries there was a calm in Chris’ voice, but it appeared to be wilting under the duress of his puzzlement; reminiscent of ice melting in hot water.

Upon being introduced to Chris’ vantage point of the dilemma, it was clear that the problem wasn’t what he perceived, but that which he had created. His wife asked for some account information, but he chose the cloak of privacy and that ignited their disparity.

For me, one of the joys of reading God’s Word is the bible is an open book exposing all its grandeur as well as its guilefulness. God chooses to share with us the adulterous transgressions of King David; doesn’t edit the contraventions of Eli the priest nor does God hide the self-righteous indignant behavior of the religious scholars.

God does not believe in the ‘Privacy Act,’ nor should we.

Unfortunately too often we as husbands guard our privacy with the fervor of the CIA. Here’s some BREAKING NEWS: a marriage that has privacy issues as an ingredient will surly mature into a recipe for disaster. Privacy includes, but not limited to, shielded friends, secret Facebook accounts, hidden passwords or bank accounts.

As husbands we must cease the insolence behavior of believing that we can stand on our personal pulpit and preach that sermon entitled “My business is my business.” Your business ain’t your business, but y’alls business. You wouldn’t sign a 30 year mortgage with a broker you believed harbored secrets about the home you were contemplating purchasing nor would you enter into a business “relationship” with a partner whom fails to provide you with ALL the information you need or believe you needed to render a wise and prudent business decision. So why would you put your wife in a position that you would not agree to place yourself in?

When the harvest of privacy rises to the surface and it ALWAYS does, it’s like discovering a crack in the foundation of your expensive home and that’s never good. The crack in your home or the crack in trust devalues the value of both the home and your covenant.

Chris (a student who participated in a relationship workshop that I facilitated) wasn’t necessarily being secretive as much as he was being cautious – that’s understandable. However where he erred was in choosing against sharing with his wife, prior to their conflict, why there was a need to be guarded. Sharing his concerns – which were legitimate concerns – freely and openly, would have reduced if not eliminated the stress created that morning.

Truth, trust, honor, honesty; being a man of your word and expecting and demanding that someone trust and honor you can’t occur when you are having an affair with privacy.

*Name changed to protect Chris’ true identity.
Reginald Williams, an Award-winning journalist and Certified Relationship Coach, is the co-founder of Marriage Nectar, a marriage and relationship enrichment company and the author of the blog http://www.ruleyourwife316.com/. You can follow Reggie on Twitter at Twitter.com/Ruleyourwife or contact him at http://www.marriagenectar.com/.

Black Male-Female Relationships: Let’s End The Civil War

by Dr. Shane Perrault,

Currently only 32% of our Black children are born into two parent families in America. In slavery and up through the 1960’s those numbers were in the low 80%s.

These numbers are scary, and suggest black men and women are in the midst of a Civil War.

And it’s gotta end.

First to my sisters, you undoubtedly have had some very hurtful experiences with black men. I feel your pain.

We have hurt you; and, unfortunately, you have hurt us, too.

As a black psychologist, I question how we can help turn our collective pain, as black men and black women, into something that works for the greater good of the community.

As a black man, I don’t believe black men hating black women, or vice-versa, is going to help end this Civil War, much less help us to thrive. With only 32% of our children being born into two family households, I don’t believe we have the luxury of sitting around trying to figure out who is to blame — truth be told, we both are to blame.

To turn those numbers around, we have to start to talk with each other, learn from each others’ pain, and start to figure out how to move from our current lose/lose situation and start to create a win/win.

Black men, I think it’s our charge to start the process of forgiving and leading positive change. We really don’t have a choice…don’t you agree that the 68% of children being born in one parent homes certainly deserve more attention?

My brothers, we are the best marketers in the world. Vitamin water, shoes, golf balls, music, even pants that fall off your butt — we can sell elevator shoes to giants, and make it in-vogue to wear them.

Why not promote our Sistas (and marriage to them)? If not us, then who? Personally, rather than continuing to contribute to this lose/lose situation, I’m willing to swallow any pain I may have felt a black woman cause me for the greater good and say let’s do better by each other in the future.

We have a choice: either our pain, or winning.

I hope we decide to make winning more important than our Pain. I know that’s a hard thing to do, but the alternative is setting the next generation up to further this lose/lose trend.

So here we go: I forgive you my Sistas for your transgressions, and pray you can forgive us for ours. We share the same history; and, undoubtedly, the same future.

Let’s partner and make that future a brighter one for the next generation.

Dr. Shane Perrault,

How Far Does an Education Take You?

By Rebekah Rast
It is engrained in the heads of the youth that you must go to college to get a good job.

While overall that is good advice, some graduates are finding their $100,000 educations haven’t provided them with the necessary skills for the modern work world.

College is more expensive than ever forcing students to pay more than 400 percent more for a college education today than 30 years ago. And as a result of increased tuition costs, students are carrying mountains of debt and aren’t finding the high-paying, coveted jobs promised to them upon graduation.

In fact, an article by the Competitive Enterprise Institute (CEI) highlighted the trend of useless college degrees and cited a study that showed “60 percent of the increase in the number of college graduates from 1992 to 2008 worked in jobs that the (Bureau of Labor Statistics) considers relatively low skilled — occupations where many participants have only high school diplomas and often even less.”
The article went on to say, “Of the nearly 50 million U.S. college graduates, 17.4 million are holding jobs for which college training is regarded as unnecessary. The number of waiters and waitresses with college degrees more than doubled in the years 1992-2008, from 119,000 to 338,000, and cashiers with college degrees rose from 132,000 to 365,000.”

What happened to the American Dream for the youth of America?
Get full story here.

Stretched Thin

ALG Editor's Note: William Warren's award-winning cartoons published at GetLiberty.org are a free service of ALG News Bureau. They may be reused and redistributed free of charge.

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Just How Big is $14 Trillion?

Video by Frank McCaffrey

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Repealing ObamaCare a Good Start to Entitlement Reform

By Robert Romano

One of the first orders of business the House of Representatives under Speaker John Boehner’s reign will be to repeal the ObamaCare legislation. The bill included a massive expansion of the Medicaid program with 23.8 million potential new enrollees as well as taxpayer-subsidized coverage of up to 400 percent of the poverty level for those aged 25-65, or another 63.6 million covered at some level. That means there are about 91.5 million people eligible for ObamaCare.

If the average cost for new Medicaid enrollees is $4,950 federally — that’s about what it is today — Medicaid costs could rise approximately $117.8 billion a year. And if the average cost for the subsidized insurance exchanges is about $1,500 per person, the costs there will be about $95.4 billion annually. That’s $213.2 billion in new spending each year once the program is fully implemented, or a $2.13 trillion ten-year price tag.

Some studies have quibbled that some of the higher cost estimates of ObamaCare assume universal participation, such as Kaiser Family Foundation, which assumes a standard participation rate in Medicaid of only 57 percent, even with the individual mandate to carry health insurance. However, considering the individual mandate, and the fact that 96 percent of seniors participate in the Medicare program, a near universal participation rate is not as far-fetched as these studies contend.
Get full story here.

Video: Prelim. Hrg. Starts for Michael Jackson's Doctor

Highest Global Food Prices

Most people in middle class homes and developed countries don't worry too much about food prices. The neighborhood grocery store still gets our regular visits for those daily staple items. However, for people in developing and challenged households higher food prices signal alarm.


The Food and Agricultural Organization, an arm of the United Nations based in Rome, said its food price index climbed in December to its highest since it began collecting data in 1990. The measure, which tracks costs of items such as rice, wheat, corn, sugar meat, rose more than 4 per cent from a month earlier.
"That will raise fears over the possibility of another crisis like that of 2007-2008, when countries such as Bangladesh and Haiti were the scene of riots. The index has now topped those levels.

There are also fears that the flooding in north eastern Australia in Queensland, a key producing region for sugar, for example, will boost prices even more.

“Recent flooding in Australia’s northeast has added to supply concerns in a number of farm commodities, which began to emerge last summer with weather problems in key producing areas throughout the world."

With the seven billion people in the world, food commodities will increasingly be placed under pressure.

Posted by Paul C

Another Attack on Egypt’s Coptic Christians

Posted by Ray Nothstine

on Tuesday, January 4, 2011

We have tried to raise awareness of the persecution and violence Coptic Christians face in Egypt and around the world at the Acton Institute and in the pages of Religion & Liberty. On New Year’s Day, a suicide-bomber killed 21 Coptic Christians as they left al-Qiddisin Church in the port city of Alexandria, Egypt. On the heels of the attack, news reports have surfaced that al-Qaeda lists Coptic Churches in the Netherlands as targets for their terror. CNN also reports that Coptic Churches across Europe are on alert because of the attack in Alexandria. The same Islamist website that called for the attack on the church in Alexandria also list Coptic Churches in England, France, and Germany as targets to blow up during the Christmas celebration. Copts celebrate Christmas on January 7.

In last year’s Winter issue of Religion & Liberty, we interviewed Nina Shea who spoke at length on the perilous situation of Egypt’s Coptic Christians as well as persecution of Christians around the globe. She also provided additional statements on violence against Copts previously on the PowerBlog. Just yesterday, Shea weighed in on the recent attack in Alexandria at The Corner over at National Review.

In my own commentary I asked “Will America Help the Persecuted Copts of Egypt?” Certainly, we need more action from our own State Department in the United States and our ambassador to Egypt. I also added a post on the Coptic issue highlighting some of my own experiences with Coptic Christians when I lived in Egypt.

The Egyptian government has been entirely absent in responding to human rights for Copts. It has also been well chronicled that the government in Egypt is often complicit in the persecution. It is time for that practice to end and hopefully our own government will champion the human rights cause of Coptic Christians and help to alleviate their suffering.

Montel Williams Busted With Marijuana Pipe

Considering he’s an open supporter (and user) of medical marijuana, we’re not shocked to learn that Montel Williams was found with a marijuana pipe at a Milwaukee airport yesterday. Frankly, if we had to go to Milwaukee, we’d want to be ripped too. What’s cheesing us off is how the cops found his pipe: he set off a metal detector in the security line. Dude! Do not put a metal pipe in your carry-on luggage! Your fellow fliers don’t need has-been talk show hosts stalling the line and wasting the precious time they’d otherwise spend in a Cinnabon.

Since the pipe was residue free (lame), Montel was let go with a $484 citation. But considering the guy’s pipe held up another line at Detroit Metro a few years back, we’re strongly pushing for a three strikes rule. Check your s— or go Bolt Bus, Montel.
[Photo: Getty Images]

Justin Bieber Vanity Fair Cover, Behind The Scenes

Justin Beiber plays cover boy for Vanity Fair’s February 2011 issue. Check out some interview teasers below from his feature:

On how he thinks: “I’m crazy, I’m nuts,” Justin Bieber tells Vanity Fair contributing editor Lisa Robinson. “Just the way my brain works. I’m not normal. I think differently—my mind is always racing. I’m just … nuts. But I think the best [musicians] probably are.”

Bieber tells Robinson that he knows girls scream for him because he’s Justin Bieber, but he thinks they might also scream for him because he’s cute. “Not trying to be arrogant, but if I walked down the street and a girl saw me, she might take a look back because maybe I’m good-looking, right?”

The issue is available on newsstands in New York and L.A. on Thursday, January 6.

by Cola Janneti