An Unresearched and Reactionary Guide to the Upcoming Economic Holocaust

by Bob "BobServo" Mackey

 

Boredom: a common symptom of Great Depressions.

In case you haven't been paying attention to the news, we're fucked. But it's not your fault--unless you're a multi-billion dollar bank or investment firm who can't get their shit together. If so, then congrats, you Jugheads of the modern business world; you're single-handedly responsible for ensuring that future generations of Americans will spend the entirety of their lives strapped to Chinese farming equipment.


I know I'm not one to talk--I've mortgaged my future via student loans to the point where this grilled cheese sandwich I'm eating right now will eventually end up costing me several hundred dollars. But my decisions hurt no one except me and my neighbors, who I wake up every night with my screaming night terrors infested with visions of future abject poverty.

Maybe if I had enough economical sway, I could talk the government into paying my credit card bill or get them to force my landlord into destroying the massive colony of wasps that makes my front wall the loudest in the county. I was given a trophy, but even the wasps don't respect that.

The government can only bail out so many businesses, which is why it won't be long before Predatory Lending Fuckups, Inc. comes running for help, only to be met with a stern look and horizontal shake of the head by a man dressed as Uncle Sam (this is how the economy works); then, this same man will get on a loudspeaker and say "The economy's over. Shut her down, boys." Following this, a gigantic lever will be pulled, causing everyone but the highest tax bracket to walk around with their pockets turned out and faces covered in soot.
When the next Depression hits, don't be surprised if your 19th-Century bootblack Halloween costume comes back into fashion because you will never be rich. But there's no need to feel sorry for yourself as you sit wondering which of your neighborhood cats is the tastiest; with the following tips, you'll ride out the next Great Depression in style.

Learn the Art of Hobology

Ohhh shit, bro. I seen that one!

If you think I'm about to make some hobo jokes, then you can go right to hell. Everyone knows that any humor even tangentially related to the hobo has been sucked dry by the Internet over the past few years--and this is exactly where you will prosper in our newfound economic hellscape.

Since you will undoubtedly be homeless, take advantage of the world's unquenchable thirst for irony and--with a little makeup and bindle-crafting--transform yourself into the modern-day hobo. This way, when you raid shantytowns for food and supplies, you will be welcomed with cries of, "A hobo? How random! You remember that Simpsons episode?" instead of getting murdered on the spot. While they're laughing like dopes, you'll be snatching handfuls of chicken bones as well as the prettiest child to sell to passing hordes of white slavers.

Living With Dust

Warning: vagrants have been known to hide in dust clouds in order to stage their secret, underground fighting tournaments.

A common problem that plagued the Great Depression were the frequent dust clouds caused by dirt and grime being lifted off of poor people and carried into fierce trade winds. These amorphous blobs of filth would travel across the nation, interrupting American citizens as they went on with their busy lives of despair and being hungry. It wasn't until one of these dust clouds enveloped a very important Presidential picnic in a nightmare of shade that Herbert Hoover decided something had to be done. The picnic was quickly moved to a different hill, and Mrs. Hoover's famous deviled eggs went untouched by the plight of our nation's poor.
Don't expect the same kind of executive action from the Obama/McCain/Palin administration; when complete darkness intermittently blocks out the sun for the rest of eternity, no amount of bumper stickers or "I Voted Today" pins is going to get any of the candidates to send FEMA down to help you--mainly because the funding for FEMA will soon be funneled into the new Congressional Fantasy Football League.

Why not get ahead of the curve and gouge your eyes out right now? Not only will you be able to adapt yourself to a world of blindness; you'll also feel a wave of superiority wash over you as panicked neighbors scream, "What's happening!? I can't see!" To this you will reply, "Advantage: me." Ignore the tears sputtering from your empty sockets like hose water from a broken lawn sprinkler.

Lower Your Standards for Entertainment

"I'll see you in your nightmares!" - Al Jolson

If there's one thing a Great Depression is good for, it's making the most insulting entertainment a worthwhile escape from the desolate ruin that is your life. This explains director Howard Hawks' blockbuster hits, 1932's Man Punches a Horse, as well as 1933's Man Punches a Horse 2: Also Cows.


This was a time period when people would regularly pay to watch Al Jolson smear his face with shoe polish to imitate a black man on the silver screen - and it would have been somewhat of a novelty if racism wasn't mandatory, or if blackface wasn't once an accepted way to break the ice at high-society dinner parties and lighthearted lynchings.

So if you don't like Ben Stiller now, you'd best start; his comical misadventures with women and novelty pets will be pure euphoria to anyone who subsists purely on a broth made from boiled shoes and scented laundry detergent (AKA laundry water).

As far as I'm concerned, a world of post-economic rape will only serve to make me much, much funnier in the terms of relativity, and frankly, I see no problem with the changes necessary to make this happen. Get ready to laugh again, America!

AMAZING WHAT A CHANGE OF LEADERSHIP CAN DO

by Vilmar 

When President Bush was in office any small uptick in oil prices was cause for alarm for the LameStream Media and “expert economists.”

They would bray for hours on end about how dire the consequences to the economy would be.
Now, with the Obama Regime in power, gasoline prices go up 45 cents a gallon and we’re being told by the Federal Reserve Chairman that there is no cause for alarm.

Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke said on Tuesday the recent surge in oil prices is unlikely to have a big impact on the U.S. economy but could dampen growth and raise inflation if sustained.

Bernanke told the U.S. Senate Banking Committee he saw increasing evidence that the U.S. economic recovery was becoming self-supporting. But he warned job growth remains far too anemic, indicating he is not considering cutting short the Fed’s $600 billion bond-buying stimulus program.

“We do see some grounds for optimism about the job market over the next few quarters,” Bernanke said, citing a steep recent decline in the jobless rate among other factors.

Bernanke said downside risks to growth had diminished, and stated for the first time that the risk of deflation — a key justification for the Fed’s bond buying — was now “negligible.”

“It’s encouraging to see that the risk of deflation is moderating according to the Fed,” said Omer Esiner, chief market analyst at Commonwealth Foreign Exchange in Washington. “That’s one of the keys that will be necessary for the Fed to wind down its quantitative easing program.”

At the same time, Bernanke did not appear concerned that a recent spike in the price of crude oil, driven in part by a wave of pro-democracy revolutions in the Middle East and North Africa, would do much harm to the U.S. economic outlook.

And, as expected, Obama’s Kept-Whores take up that clarion call.
Meanwhile, we, who find themselves paying ever more, ever faster for gasoline are told not to worry?

It’s such a shame so many Americans fall for the duplicity of a hypocritical POS media with a double standard when reporting similar stories but under different administrations.
But the internet does not lie. Thanks to SondraK we have this:

The Democrats were quick to blame Bush over high prices. I’m not hearing any Democrats have as much concern over the prices since Obama got in the White House. Curious isn’t it?
The New York Times reported April 25, 2006:

Representative Nancy Pelosi, Democrat of California, called Tuesday for a bipartisan effort to bring down prices by the end of May. But in a response to Bush’s speech, she said that the recent price rise showed that the Republican administration had been too cozy with the oil industry. “America can no longer afford George W. Bush as president,” she said.

Seems we can’t afford Obama either.

The Washington Times reported on April 25, 2006:
House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi of California will hold a press conference today to call on the administration to “stop price gouging.”

And Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid of Nevada said
does anyone think it’s fair to have consumers pay $100 a week to fill their fuel tanks…?

I haven’t heard a word from these two since Obama became President. In fact they have been complicit in keeping the U.S. from drilling new sources of oil. They don’t seem as concerned now. Oil companies are making tons of money drilling overseas yet we haven’t heard a thing from Pelosi on “price gouging” during her or Obama’s watch.
On Apri 30, 2008 AZCentral via Washington Post quoted Sen. Amy Klobuchar, a Democrat from Minnesota saying:

People don’t have time for finger-pointing from the White House right now.
They have listened to this president for eight years: for eight years that these gas prices have gone up and up and up, for eight years after these oil prices have gone up and up and up, and they want answers.

We still want answers. The Democrats are quite silent about this now since they basically got what they wanted which was no drilling in America.

We have been debating drilling and exploration with the liberal environmentalists for 10-20 years.

On July 15, 2008 the Washington Post reported:
Senator Dianne Feinstein, Democrat of California, said the president was “deluding the American public into believing that new offshore drilling is a quick fix to $4 per gallon gasoline.” Like others, she noted that drilling offshore would have no immediate effect.
Even if new offshore drilling were allowed off the coast of California and along the outer continental shelf, which I wholly and resolutely oppose, she said, it won’t produce oil in time to solve the gas price emergency American consumers are facing right now.

Gaddafi tells the media: ‘All my people love me. They would die to protect me’

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This article titled “Gaddafi tells the media: ‘All my people love me. They would die to protect me’” was written by Ben Quinn, for The Guardian on Tuesday 1st March 2011 01.40 UTC
Muammar Gaddafi has insisted that the people of Libya love him and denied during an interview that there have been any demonstrations against his regime.

“All my people love me. They would die to protect me,” said the Libyan leader, speaking to news organisations including the BBC, laughing off international pressure to step down.

“As if anyone would leave their homeland,” he replied, accusing western leaders of betrayal and of having “no morals.”
Besides, he insisted, he had no official position from which he could resign: “It’s honorary. It has nothing to do with exercising power or authority.”

“In Britain who has the power, is it Queen Elizabeth or is it David Cameron?” he asked.

Throughout an interview, conducted at a Tripoli restaurant overlooking a port on the Mediterranean coast, he appeared to be in denial about the strength of the uprising against his 41-year rule that has ended his control over eastern Libya and is closing in on Tripoli itself.

Sometimes breaking into English from Arabic, he repeated claims that al-Qaida was behind the uprising and said that young people involved in it had been given drugs, which were now beginning to wear off.

Those who were under the influence of the drugs had seized weapons, but his supporters were under orders not to shoot back, he said. The Libyan leader also accused western countries of abandoning his government in its fight against terrorists and said he felt betrayed by the United States.

“I’m surprised that we have an alliance with the west to fight al-Qaida, and now that we are fighting terrorists they have abandoned us,” Gaddafi told his interviewers from ABC News, the BBC and the Sunday Times. “Perhaps they want to occupy Libya.”

Gaddafi described Barack Obama as a “good man” but said he appeared misinformed about the situation in Libya.

“The statements I have heard from [Obama] must have come from someone else,” Gaddafi said. “America is not the international police of the world.”

He went on to challenge other leaders, including David Cameron, who have accused him of having money abroad, to produce “one shred” of evidence that the Libyan leader had any money in the UK.

The US ambassador to the UN, Susan Rice, said the interview showed that Gaddafi was delusional and “unfit to lead” his country.

Read more: http://www.thehotjoints.com/2011/03/01/gaddafi-tells-the-media-all-my-people-love-me-they-would-die-to-protect-me/#ixzz1FSUhlCQ2

Crash of 2008 financial terrorism?

By: MataHarley

Just caught this from this evening’s Washington Times. I’ve done no research yet, nor found a link to the actual report. But here’s the basics…. a Pentagon contractor, Kevin D. Freeman, wrote an analysis in 2009 titled “Economic Warfare: Risks and Responses” in which he suggested the economic crash of 2008 was three pronged attack against the US economy by outside forces, and is still in progress now.

“There is sufficient justification to question whether outside forces triggered, capitalized upon or magnified the economic difficulties of 2008,” the report says, explaining that those domestic economic factors would have caused a “normal downturn” but not the “near collapse” of the global economic system that took place.

Suspects include financial enemies in Middle Eastern states, Islamic terrorists, hostile members of the Chinese military, or government and organized crime groups in Russia, Venezuela or Iran. Chinese military officials publicly have suggested using economic warfare against the U.S.
Michael G. Vickers, assistant secretary of defense for special operations, said the Pentagon was not the appropriate agency to assess economic warfare and financial terrorism risks. (Associated Press)In an interview with The Times, Mr. Freeman said his report provided enough theoretical evidence for an economic warfare attack that further forensic study was warranted.

This is a lengthy piece, and what becomes notable is already too many agencies haven’t given this type of terrorism a second thought. Ironic since the September 11 attacks was all about bringing this nation to it’s knees by knocking out the financial district, and crippling response from the Pentagon and WH or Congress. Do we never learn?

This is still a breaking story, so for now, I’m throwing this out for y’all to chew on with much added commentary until I read more. Added sources and information in the comments by all of you would be appreciated!

could it be........

...Evidence outlined in a Pentagon contractor report suggests that financial subversion carried out by unknown parties, such as terrorists or hostile nations, contributed to the 2008 economic crash by covertly using vulnerabilities in the U.S. financial system.
The unclassified 2009 report “Economic Warfare: Risks and Responses” by financial analyst Kevin D. Freeman, a copy of which was obtained by The Washington Times, states that “a three-phased attack was planned and is in the process against the United States economy.”
While economic analysts and a final report from the federal government’s Financial Crisis Inquiry Commission blame the crash on such economic factors as high-risk mortgage lending practices and poor federal regulation and supervision, the Pentagon contractor adds a new element: “outside forces,” a factor the commission did not examine.
“There is sufficient justification to question whether outside forces triggered, capitalized upon or magnified the economic difficulties of 2008,” the report says, explaining that those domestic economic factors would have caused a “normal downturn” but not the “near collapse” of the global economic system that took place...

Which Middle Eastern Regime Will Fall Next?

As Egypt's revolution reverberates throughout the Middle East, which Arab nation will be next to see a change in leadership? Examining the economic and social conditions in nearby countries might be able to formulate an accurate prediction. Elefint Designs has crunched the data to see which Middle Eastern country might be teetering on the brink of upheaval in their infographic Tension in the Middle East and North Africa.


Looking at a variety of leading indicators like U.S. military aid, press freedom, and unemployment, the infographic examines which countries are poised for change. In this section, the blue is the percentage of the population under 25, red lines are the percentage of the population living below the poverty line. And those large circles dangling below contrast two very important figures: The green is the number of years that the current leader has been in power, while the white circle is the percentage of unemployment. Libya and Yemen both have a long-ruling dictator plus unemployment over 30 percent, and they're both places we're seeing massive unrest today.

BY   Alissa Walker

Minister Louis Farrakhan Calls Rihanna "Filth", Says Her Fans And Homosexuals Are "Swine"

» by Danielle Canada March 1, 2011, 16:35pm

Minister Louis Farrakhan is raising eyebrows over recent comments he made about pop singer Rihanna.
The Nation of Islam Minister spoke Sunday at the annual Saviors' Day celebration at the Allstate Arena in Rosemont, Illinois and spoke out on a number of topics including the pop star.

According to The Chicago Tribune, Farrakhan dubbed troubled Libyan Dictator Moammar Quaddafi a “friend" and he praised the Church of Scientology for "civilizing white people."


Rihanna on the other hand was blasted for her “filthy” performances and anyone who enjoyed such antics were “swine.”

The Tribune reports that the Minister also gave the title to gays and lesbians.
Rihanna obviously caught wind of his comment and posted on Twitter,

Oil reaches $100/barrel, Gulf of Mexico drilling starts

US President Barack Obama has approved the first permit for deepwater oil drilling in the Gulf of Mexico after a nine-month shutdown following the April 2010 explosion of the Deepwater Horizon oil rig and the major spill that followed. The moratorium was lifted in October, but the US administration has played it safe and taken time before issuing permits. The permit issued MOnday 28 February went to Noble Energy of Houston, for an existing well.

The news comes as the price of oil reached $100 per barrel Tuesday 1 March, with tensions in oil-producing Middle East states, notably Libya, continuing. The CS Monitor reports that in the US, truckers are unhappy but some oil producing areas such as North Dakota, see the higher prices as a bonanza because it allows them to extract oil from sites where the recovery cost is relatively high.

Trading on call options of oil drilling equipment and services company Weatherford International, based in Geneva, were the highest on the US market Tuesday, reports Bloomberg, following news of the permit.

Harvard Minister Rev. Peter J Gomes Dies, 68

Posted March 1st, 2011 by Wayne Besen
Truth Wins Out will miss Rev. Peter J. Gomes, a celebrated openly gay minister who taught at Harvard and authored books countering anti-gay biblical abuse. Our hearts go out to the friends and family of this incredibly influential pastor.
The work of Gomes has helped shape the mission of Truth Wins Out. For example, we are in total agreement on the danger presented by the growth of religious fundamentalism:

“Religious fundamentalism is dangerous because it cannot accept ambiguity and diversity and is therefore inherently intolerant,” Gomes declared in an Op-Ed article for The New York Times in 1992. “Such intolerance, in the name of virtue, is ruthless and uses political power to destroy what it cannot convert.”

In his 1996 best-seller, “The Good Book: Reading the Bible with Mind and Heart,” Mr. Gomes urged believers to grasp the spirit, not the letter, of scriptural passages that he said had been misused to defend racism, anti-Semitism and sexism and to attack homosexuality and abortion. He offered interpretations that he said transcended the narrow context of modern prejudices.

“The Bible alone is the most dangerous thing I can think of,” he told The Los Angeles Times. “You need an ongoing context and a community of interpretation to keep the Bible current and to keep yourself honest. Forget the thought that the Bible is an absolute pronouncement.”

Amen.
If heaven exists, I’m sure you are there.  I am also certain that you won’t be the least bit surprised by the absence of leading religious right figures that were so certain of their holiness.

Holder dodges, fumes, talks about “my people” during subcommittee hearing

Politico reports on a heated exchange today between our derelict US Attorney General Eric Holder and Republicans during a House Appropriations subcommittee hearing:

Attorney General Eric Holder finally got fed up Tuesday with claims that the Justice Department went easy in a voting rights case against members of the New Black Panther Party because they are African American.

Holder’s frustration over the criticism became evident during a House Appropriations subcommittee hearing as Rep. John Culberson (R-Texas) accused the Justice Department of failing to cooperate with a Civil Rights Commission investigation into the handling of the 2008 incident in which Black Panthers in intimidating outfits and wielding a club stood outside a polling place in Philadelphia.

The Attorney General seemed to take personal offense at a comment Culberson read in which former Democratic activist Bartle Bull called the incident the most serious act of voter intimidation he had witnessed in his career.

“Think about that,” Holder said. “When you compare what people endured in the South in the 60s to try to get the right to vote for African Americans, to compare what people subjected to that with what happened in Philadelphia, which was inappropriate….to describe it in those terms I think does a great disservice to people who put their lives on the line for my people,” said Holder, who is black.
[...]
In a series of questions and comments earlier in the hearing, Culberson insisted that race had infected the decision-making process. “There’s clearly overwhelming evidence that your Department of Justice refuses to protect the rights of anybody other than African-Americans to vote,” the Texas Republican said. “There’s a double standard here.”

“This Department of Justice does not enforce the law on the basis of race,” Holder insisted.
Rep. Chaka Fattah, a Democrat from Philadelphia, said the Black Panthers “should not have been there.” But he said the GOP was making too much out of a fleeting incident involving a couple of people.

“The most unethical thing a person can do is make allegations based on absolutely nothing,” Fattah said. “The only issue of race is singling out this particular decision…That this rises to national significance is bogus on its face.”

I’m sure Rep. Fattah would say and believe the same thing had it been, say, a couple of white supremacists standing in front of a polling place with batons in their hands. Um hmm. I should point out that Fattah once ran for Philadelphia mayor but came under intense verbal fire over his expressed belief that convicted cop killer Mumia Abu-Jamal is innocent. So, needless to say, his judgment is, er, questionable – to put it nicely.

In fact, we all know that there would not only have been national news media saturation of this case (helped along eagerly by left wing bloggers, pundits, and other associated talking heads) had it involved two white people, but it would have turned into an international affair, with the Euro-media and other babbling elites overseas “still wondering” how “racism” could still persist so strongly in light of the fact that the United States elected its first black President, who was supposed to be a “post-racial” President, two years ago ….

Posted by: ST 

Sarah Palins Slams Obama On DOMA

"I have always believed that marriage is between one man and one woman. Like the majority of Americans, I support the Defense of Marriage Act and find it appalling that the Obama administration decided not to defend this federal law which was enacted with broad bipartisan support and signed into law by a Democrat president. It’s appalling, but not surprising that the President has flip-flopped on yet another issue from his stated position as a candidate to a seemingly opposite position once he was elected." - Sarah Palin, as triumphantly quoted today by Maggie Gallagher.

posted by Joe

Barry Bonds' Trainer Says He Will Refuse To Testify

1:38 PM:Barry Bonds' trainer, Greg Anderson, told a federal judge in San Francisco today that he will refuse to testify at the slugger's perjury trial, even if he has to go to jail for contempt of court.

U.S. District Judge Susan Illston told Anderson, "You will very likely be ordered into custody until the conclusion of the trial."

Bonds, 46, pleaded not guilty today to the most recent version of an indictment accusing him of lying before a federal grand jury.

He is due to go on trial in Illston's court on March 21 on four counts of making false statements and one count of obstruction in 2003 testimony before a federal grand jury investigating steroid distribution.

The former San Francisco Giants slugger is accused of lying when he said he never knowingly received steroids from Anderson and never received an injection from him.

Illston is hearing arguments this afternoon on a final series of pretrial motions filed by prosecution and defense attorneys.

1:38 PM: Home-run champion Barry Bonds pleaded not guilty in federal court in San Francisco today to the most recent version of an indictment accusing him of lying before a federal grand jury.

The current indictment - the fourth version obtained by prosecutors since 2007 - charges him with four counts of making false statements and one count of obstructing justice in testimony before a federal grand jury in 2003.
The former San Francisco Giants slugger is accused of lying when he said he never knowingly received steroids from his trainer, Greg Anderson, and never received an injection from Anderson.
He is due to go on trial in the court of U.S. District Judge Susan Illston on March 21.

Illston was scheduled to hear arguments this afternoon on a final series of pretrial motions filed by prosecution and defense attorneys.

Julia Cheever, Bay City News